Adventures in Utah

Boy did I feel like a new mother when I left Friday morning for Utah.  I texted my mom at 7 AM to ask how my dog was as I was sitting on the tarmac.  Every time my parents called me, or I called them, I cared more about my puppy than anything else.  I worried that he wouldn't remember me, or he would grow too much.  I brought pictures and movies to share with my sister and friends.  I even talked to my Riley on the speaker phone.  Dad said he recognized my voice, but I think Dad was just trying to calm my nerves.  Below is a picture of Riley's graduating "puppy kindergarten" class, minus a few.

In other news, Amelia and Christian were married and I was able to be there!  Well, actually outside the temple and at the reception.  Yep, I've been to 4 weddings in the past year and never been able to witness one.  

It was a new experience to be able to wait outside the Salt Lake Temple.  Courtney and I arrived at 1:15, 15 minutes after the ceremony started.  I was worried that I would miss her coming out of the temple.  You never know how long the ceremony will take.  Well, we were so worried that we had missed it, I began to ask people what wedding they were there for.  We found out that the next bride preparing to come out had her ceremony begin at 12:20.  So, we got to watch 3-4 brides come out before we met Amelia and Christian.  It really is like what everyone jokes about; brides come out every 15 minutes.  All the families wait anxiously for their bride and groom.  On one occasion someone had to yell to the crowd:  "Whose bride is this?"  And then everyone would back up and let the respective family forward.  The famous picturesque staircases had people waiting for their opportunity for pictures.  Well, while we were waiting for the pictures, I experimented with my camera.

While the photographer was taking photos of Amelia and Christian and their families, we were assigned to be the entertainment for the kids in the pictures.  You know how a photographer usually has a squeaky toy or rattle to make the kids look at the camera?  Well, Courtney and I were the toys.  :)

The reception was beautiful.  I love my friends so much.  It was bittersweet be in Utah for the weekend.  It's hard to be so far away from those I love.  The friends that mean so much to me.  It was hard to leave, not knowing when I'll be back.  I love you.  I guess for now it's my position to create and strengthen new relationships.  But they will never be the same.  Ciao for now.  

"Am I Gonna Turn Out Fine?"

Sometimes times get hard.  That is a fact of life.  I could end there.  But, there's also more to life than that.  It is all too easy to spend time questioning where you're going and if you're going to get there.  My [new] theory is that if you just keep walking, you'll find something.  Something that will change your point of view.  For that to happen, you need to keep walking.  Stopping for a prolonged period of time to figure things out will only give you a better view of the storm.  So, why not keep walking with the hope that things will change.  They have to, right?   Let's be honest.  I've struggled.  I've lived 10 years of my life succumbing to horrible, horrible diseases.  There have been times when I have stopped, thinking, "I just need to rest."  Well, I always chose the wrong place at the wrong time to rest.  From this last bout of relapse, I have realized that you can't give up on yourself.  Sometimes you're the only one you have.  If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?  

I didn't know what I wanted out of life.  I didn't even know if I'd survive.  But, I had people telling me that I needed to start doing something.  Anything.  So, I chose to do what I knew I used to love: volunteering.  I like to think that I began walking.  Believe me, the walk was treacherous and long.  I had to rely on others.  Yet, those I leaned on say I did most of the work.  That's debatable.  But that's not the point.  The point is if I stayed in that one spot, hoping the rain would let up, I would still be there.  It's as simple as that.  

Andy Grammar sings these words in his song, "Keep Your Head Up,"

I'm seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled 

I start to comprimise 

My life and the purpose. 

Is it all worth it, 

Am I gonna turn out fine? 

Oh, you'll turn out fine. 

Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine. 

But you gotta keep your head up, oh, 

And you can let your hair down, eh. 

you gotta keep your head up, oh, 

And you can let your hair down, eh. 

Things may not turn out the way we want them, but they'll turn out fine, one way or another.