"Am I Gonna Turn Out Fine?"

Sometimes times get hard.  That is a fact of life.  I could end there.  But, there's also more to life than that.  It is all too easy to spend time questioning where you're going and if you're going to get there.  My [new] theory is that if you just keep walking, you'll find something.  Something that will change your point of view.  For that to happen, you need to keep walking.  Stopping for a prolonged period of time to figure things out will only give you a better view of the storm.  So, why not keep walking with the hope that things will change.  They have to, right?   Let's be honest.  I've struggled.  I've lived 10 years of my life succumbing to horrible, horrible diseases.  There have been times when I have stopped, thinking, "I just need to rest."  Well, I always chose the wrong place at the wrong time to rest.  From this last bout of relapse, I have realized that you can't give up on yourself.  Sometimes you're the only one you have.  If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?  

I didn't know what I wanted out of life.  I didn't even know if I'd survive.  But, I had people telling me that I needed to start doing something.  Anything.  So, I chose to do what I knew I used to love: volunteering.  I like to think that I began walking.  Believe me, the walk was treacherous and long.  I had to rely on others.  Yet, those I leaned on say I did most of the work.  That's debatable.  But that's not the point.  The point is if I stayed in that one spot, hoping the rain would let up, I would still be there.  It's as simple as that.  

Andy Grammar sings these words in his song, "Keep Your Head Up,"

I'm seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled 

I start to comprimise 

My life and the purpose. 

Is it all worth it, 

Am I gonna turn out fine? 

Oh, you'll turn out fine. 

Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine. 

But you gotta keep your head up, oh, 

And you can let your hair down, eh. 

you gotta keep your head up, oh, 

And you can let your hair down, eh. 

Things may not turn out the way we want them, but they'll turn out fine, one way or another.