Endings [Hopefully] Lead to Wonderful Beginnings

During the past little bit, I have closed several chapters in my life.  For one, I traveled to Provo for what could be the last time.  There really is no reason for me to travel to Provo anymore, as Courtney is done with school in Provo and most of my friends will be graduating soon and moving on.  I do have to admit that I was a wreck for most of my time in Provo this last time.  I would beg to run errands for my sister so I could be in the car alone; the only time when I felt I could let my emotions loose.  No matter how many times I tell myself that BYU wasn't the best fit for me, I still have an emotional connection with the school.  It wasn't easy to leave Provo in a matter of hours.  And it certainly isn't easy to return to relive those memories.  

But, I have a new opportunity in front of me.  I am beginning classes at GMU on Monday.  I am beyond a wreck.  A new school.  No one I know on campus.  No idea where things are or what to expect.  But, as scared and uneasy as I feel right now, I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  This knowledge is what is going to help me walk through the doors of my first class.  A beautiful opportunity that will allow me to lean on Him.

I said goodbye to Shelter House for the second time.  I interned with the Senior Community Case Manager at Shelter House for the past 2 summers.  The internship came at a time when I needed it the most.  The hardest part of saying goodbye was knowing that due to confidentiality, I will not be able to hear of the successes of the clients I worked with.  I can only dream of what their lives will be like in a few months.  May God Bless them.

Once again, there is a new beginning in store for me with the close of this chapter: I will see other facets of social work from now on.  As I progress in my program, I will have several required internships that will allow me to explore what I really want to do with the degree.  I've only had experience in the homeless sector.  First with FACETS and then with Shelter House.  I pray that doors will open for me as I know they will for my clients.

People enter our lives for a reason.  When I began volunteering at Fairfax Hospital, I met another LDS member around my age.  It was no coincidence that we worked the same shift in the same unit.  I was so blessed to be able to feel connected to someone during a time in my life when I felt so alone.  Now that 6 months have passed since I began volunteering, I feel more at ease because I met her--not just in the hospital setting, but in social situations with other single members in the Church.  I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows better than myself what I need in every moment.

Due to a scheduling conflict, I can no longer work the same shift as that sweet young lady.  I'm not quite sure what the new beginning will be, but there's got to be one, right?

I have a testimony of the love Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, have for each one of us.  I know my Heavenly Father takes note of every tear that hits my pillow at night.  I know tears are a part of the plan just as much as are smiles and laughs.  Here's to many smiles and laughs that are bound to come (hopefully) soon.  

For This Reason Were You Saved

Children's curiosity has no limits.  When I was young, I would follow every statement with "why?"  I was born with the desire to know the reasons why to every question, every situation, and every problem.  

I'm still this way.

I was blessed to have a friend move back into the area after almost a year, and as a result we have spent hours talking, just catching up.  As we spoke, he told me of times in his life where his life has been saved.  In situations where many would have died.  I knew that this was no coincidence.  It's not just luck.  There must be a reason why he was saved, when so many are not.  

I then began to turn  to my life.  Last summer, I left the office where I work with enough time to get to an appointment I had in Vienna.  The distance between the starting point and the ending location was great enough that I had to take I-66 to Vienna.  It was about 4 PM, and rush hour had not yet quite begun and because I was not in any particular hurry, I went the speed limit (which is a rare occurrence for anyone in the DC Metro area).  I was about to my exit, when a car sped diagonally, just barely missing the front end of my car.  I honked and then to my horror I witnessed the vehicle cross two or three more lanes of traffic, speed off the road, onto a hill and into a huge tree.  After I caught my breath, I pulled to the side of the road, as did many.  The car was crushed into the side of the tree and the driver was trapped.  A few brave men tried to pry the door open with no success.  I stood, confused and befuddled as firemen, paramedics, and policemen pulled onto the scene.  I left after giving a statement.  As I turned on my engine, I began to quietly sob.  If I had left even a second earlier, had I pushed on the gas pedal just a little more, I would have been crushed between the now totaled car and the tree.  I will never comprehend why I walked away with my life that day.  That was not luck.  That was divine intervention.  

I want a concrete answer.  I want someone to say, "For this reason were you saved."  None of us may know why we were alive before we die.  Maybe the purpose behind my life has already been accomplished.  Until I know, I will be on pins and needles.