Thursday, May 1, 2014

Change is What I Know

I was encouraged this past Sunday to blog again by a beautiful woman in my local church congregation.  She is strong and passionate.  I don't know much about her, but her story of conversion from Islam to being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has given me greater insight into my own faith.  So Bilo, this one's for you.  ;)

Just about 3 weeks ago I was released from my calling as Relief Society President of my local congregation.  I served for 22 months in that position and I attribute my growth, insight, faith, accomplishments, and deep human relationships to that calling; in part, it was the blessings and insights that come to a Relief Society President and in part, it was the women themselves that allowed these changes to occur within me.  Many of the women I came to know during that time have moved on: marriages, education, new career paths, life changes, and itchings for change prompted changes in their life course.  However, I will never forget even one of them nor will I forget any of the women I still have the opportunity to see every week.  The strength and resilience of these women has inspired me to live life larger, deeper, and more intensely.  I've had the opportunity to re-evaluate what life means to me and to others.  I've grown in my faith and understanding of what a loving Heavenly Father feels for each of his daughters and in turn what love truly means.  This release has been my biggest change of 2014.  

For the longest time I only really desired one thing: an absence of change.  When I was struggling in my eating disorder and deep depression, I refused to believe that relinquishing the struggle and allowing change within would help anything.  I was convinced that my finite foresight was reality.  And, as easy as it is to say that I was wrong, it is even harder to apply that truth to the here and now.  Though I am not struggling in my eating disorder or a deep depression anymore, letting go is still required of each of us.  It is simple, but never easy.


My Stake President recently taught that many times we are required to bury our pasts deep in the ground.  He was referring to past transgressions and sins, but I think it can also be applied to past faults, past relationships, past coping mechanisms, and a longing for the past.  In short we must bury the things we had to let go of that allowed us to move forward and grow.  Life will not work out as God intended if we walk with our eyes behind us.  

And so I leave you with a challenge: dedicate yourselves to experience the heartache of moving on in the next 60 days.  Sounds sadistic, huh?  But, I know each of us is dreaming of days gone by when we must believe in better things to come.

~Come What May and Love It~

3 comments:

  1. So true Mackenzie. I'm so excited to hear more about the adventures you are about to take. I love you.

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  2. The quote my Elder Witherland is what I have lived by this past year. I can't wait to hear about your VCU adventures!

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  3. Thank you for dedicating this wonderful blog to me Mackenzie. I just want to start off by saying that I think you are an amazing soul. I may not know you that well, nor can I truly say I know what you have been through. Nevertheless, I am very much touched by you and your words of wisdom. I appreciate the fact that you can have such courage and passion to express a past so deep to many out there. You really stand out from among the many people that I know in our congregation. I have great admiration and respect for how you carry yourself.

    For a really long time, I was battling my own demons. Apart from my conversion and finding faith, there were many complications that I was still struggling with that made life challenging for me. I was scared to talk to anyone in our congregation because I was afraid of being judge, especially with the high standards the church places on everyone. It seemed to me that everyone carried themselves in a no flaw manner and I didn't think I could find anyone that I can relate to. Therefore, when I came across your blog, I was deeply inspired by you and amazed by how open you were about your past. I totally agree that we can't move forward when our eyes are stilling looking back.
    Once again thanks for sharing this blog with me and many others out there who needed it.

    I truly hope you continue doing what you do best, which is providing confidence and friendship to everyone.

    Don’t Stop Blogging 

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