Did We Know?

The holiday season is a blessing and a curse.  It is a celebration of all that is good in this world: family, gratitude, friends, and most importantly, our Savior Jesus Christ.  However, it is stressful and the meaning of the season is often overshadowed or forgotten.  My last Christmas was everything a young 20-something would want: a simple final exam schedule, a serious boyfriend, a mostly-stress-free Nutcracker, loving family, supportive friends, a great church environment; the list could go on for days.  This year I'm living deadline to deadline, which means I have a lot piled up on me as far as school is concerned.  I'm performing 2 huge roles in the Nutcracker, with rehearsals out of the wazoo (not to mention being stuck in traffic for 2+ hours to get to Warrenton most days).  The Nutcracker also falls on the night of my church's Christmas party, meaning I won't have the large turnout of supportive friends that I had hoped.  I'm attempting to catch up on my 225 hours that are due next week for my internship.  I feel I haven't been able to give each responsibility and duty in my life the full attention it needs.  Then pile on the ensuing guilt, frustration, self-loathing, and sadness.  Oh, and don't remind me that I'm single.  Needless to say, I have been a "hot mess" this past month.  

Amidst all this, I have been reflecting on God's greater plan for each of us.  We are told in Job, 38:4-7: "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.  Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?  Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;  When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"  We, as spirit children of a King, shouted for joy when we knew we were to come to earth to receive a body and experience mortality.  I then wondered, did we know how hard life would be?  I can't imagine knowing that I would be challenged with such deep depression and self-hatred that I would want to end that life which God gave to me that I would want to endure it.  How could we have known?  How could I have jumped for joy knowing that I would experience so much heartache? 

I was then reminded that in Matthew 26:39, we read that Christ "went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."  Christ prepared as much as He possibly could for His mortal and eternal mission.  Yet, even He did not understand how painful and unbearable the burdens placed on him would be when in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Ultimately, the Father had to withdraw His presence and Christ felt utterly alone.  

As I think of Christ's birth those thousands of years ago in Bethlehem, I am brought to my knees in awesome wonder and gratitude for that miracle.  Without the Savior's birth, we would never be able to experience and utilize the power of the Atonement in our lives.  There would be no way for us to return to live with our God, who gave us life.  And in turn, we can know that WE are never alone.  Because Christ walked the same paths that we must endure, we are NEVER alone.  

I wish you a joyful Christmas--one full of remembrance and gratitude.  Christ is the source of our joy and gratitude.  Remember Him.