Don't Take Yourself So Seriously!

Tears slowly dripped down my cheeks as I drove home after an exhausting day filled with academic critiques and a full night of dance lessons.  These tears were an 180 degree change from the tears that slowly dripped down my cheeks just 3 1/2 hours earlier beneath my bug-eyed shades protecting me from the late afternoon sun.  

Earlier in the day, it occurred to me that this week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.  I immediately had an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude for where I am in relation to where I've been.  After a decade long battle with an eating disorder, I was supposed to be just another statistic.   I was supposed to be another victim who lost all meaning and purpose in life.  However, I was told last week by a treatment provider that I "beat the odds."  I am now a face of survival and hope and recovery in a world with such disheartening views and prognoses of eating disorders.  Courage, strength, and perseverance were heralded to my name.  Yet, I can only see these attributes in those who could have so easily given up on me and given in to my disorder.

Tonight my mindset changed drastically as I drove home.  The comfort of negative self-talk crept back in to my mind.  I drove almost half way from Warrenton to my home in Fairfax before I realized what I was doing to myself.  It's so much easier to give in to the negativity the world bombards us with than to fight it all.  Hadn't I just been reminded that I have proven I have  the ability to overcome such maladaptive habits?

I've been thinking a lot over the past few weeks of an experience I had recently.  I had been called into dance early to provide the Artistic Director of the studio with music for her class.  As she plugged in my iPhone to the stereo, the last song I had listened to blasted from the speakers.  It's a ridiculous song, one that I love to dance to while I get ready in the morning.  The class of 10 or so little ballerinas quickly exchanged their proper posture and pristine 5th positions for hip-hop dance moves at the first note of the song.  What's to learn from this experience?  Don't take yourself so seriously that you miss out on the oft-times imperfect yet exhilarating chances life throws you.

As I drove the rest of the way home I realized that it's okay to have an upsetting moment or even a horrendous day.  Just don't take it so seriously!  Enjoy the next random event that is given to lift your spirits and your smile.  :)