Take Time to Hurt

My heart is hurting.  A hurt that I know everyone goes through.  And yet it feels so personal and goes so deep that I can't seem to think anyone knows what I'm feeling.  The details will be spared.  I want to focus on realizing we can all take time to hurt.  There is no way anyone can fully heal if they don't take time to acknowledge the pain and allow themselves time to grieve.  Healing will come.  I may not believe it right now, but I know it is true.  I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers every heartache.  I know the Atonement will help me through this seemingly insurmountable trial in my life.

Over the past week I have been so emotional it has truly inhibited by ability to notice the beauty that surrounds all of us.  I was sitting in Church this past Sunday, tissues in hand to make sure no one could tell my makeup was slowly being washed away.  I felt a little finger tap my shoulder.  I ignored it.  I felt two little fingers tap my shoulder.  Again, I ignored it.  Finally after a third and fourth attempt, I turned around.  A handsome young boy had been so desperately trying to get my attention.  I smiled as big as I could and let out a big "Hi!"  As I turned my attention back to the speaker, I heard his sweet voice say, "Mom!  She said hi!"  His mother replied, "See?  It isn't so hard, is it?"

While my argument that we need to take time to hurt still stands, we should not and cannot allow our hurt to stop us from realizing there is good in the world.  It is so easy to become jaded during moments of hurt.  I am guilty of this.  Had I allowed my hurt to fully envelop me that day, I would have certainly affected someone.  Just not in the way anyone would hope.  That little boy's social experiment would have failed.  Just as happiness is contagious, so is sadness.

There have been a few moments over the past week that I cannot afford to forget or label as "coincidences."  They are proof that a loving Heavenly Father has not left me alone.  These little "God winks" are there for us to realize He is still there.  Maybe not in the way we would hope.  But, He is still there.  There is beauty in knowing this.  While knowing this isn't a cure-all antidote for the hurt I am feeling, it does give me hope.  An enduring hope that beauty does not disappear even in times of trial.  We just have to have the eyes to see it and the hearts to hold it.